Happy 2015!

Hello.

I apologize for the delay in posts. So much happened in 2014, I was not sure whether to post updates or soak up those moments and let it be.

Obviously I chose to live in the moment since this blog was pretty silent for most of 2014. Also, I finally changed the mood and design of this site. I need something more raw, darker and true to who I am because I do want to share something with you guys. I want to let my emotions out and be as open with an anonymous audience as possible.

Growing up, I was curious about other peoples' lives and wondered if they battled some of the same demons I did. I have a hard time opening up and even writing thoughts down since I'm scatterbrained and insecure about the truth most of the time. We just expect others to be perfect and pristine. We expect people to only be good and nothing but good.

To sum it up, I'm not a good person but I'm not a bad person either. Perhaps a confused person. Perhaps a lonely person. Sometimes I feel more alone than anyone can imagine. When I'm surrounded by wonderful people, I am reminded of something; something darker. Something that cannot be forgotten. It's like a disease that lives inside of my body, in my mind. It is definitely something I have fought years and years to banish but running away from my own demons only makes the situation worse. It drives me to insanity. It drives me to insomnia. It drives me to hatred and anger. It drives me to reckless behavior.

Hello 2015.

Are you ready for me?

P.S. New banner was taken on top of a roof on Sunset Blvd on New Years with an amazing guy. Can't get better than that.