In an Instant

In the midst of chaos, I like to reflect upon everything that has happened and everything else that will continue to happen.

People used to warn me about this world; that it was bad, that is was horrible and that I wouldn't survive this "reality."

What is this "reality" that the wiser people talk about?

Whatever this "reality" is, I find it fascinating. I've experienced hurt and loss and failure. I've felt humiliation way too many times to even discuss about. I've felt ostracized in public places. Bosses belittling me and grown adults scolding my little mistakes causing them to be bigger issues than they were.

By the way, all of this happened in my hometown, the town that was supposed to be the beginning of this "reality check".

But then the strangest thing happened. I went out into the world full force. I expected to be betrayed. I expected people to push and shove my heart around like it had been way too many times before. I expected people to make me feel like a failure. I expected others to tell me I was a piece of shit, good for nothing BITCH. I was waiting and waiting and waiting............

Just waiting for the world to kick my fragile soul out from a bewildered, distraught and already tired body.

Everything else but THAT happened. At basic training, my battle buddies were pushing, cheering, and encouraging me. Drill Sergeants were too kind and too understanding. Everyone cared.

I moved out from my town into this new area where people actually believed in me. Where I was not yelled at for being ten minutes late. Where professors genuinely WANTED us to succeed. They are compassionate. I know that where I am now is nowhere close from where I came from.

People here believe, encourage and hand out opportunities. We help each other. It's weird.

I thought the world was supposed to be mean. I thought reality was about others not giving you an opportunity.

I thought wrong.

If you ever feel stuck in your own mind just know that the world is a different kind of reality. If you give love, you will get it all back. But who knows, maybe all of this will change in an instant.

For now, I love this moment and this time in my life. I truly appreciate this reality check and thank God for this opportunity. Hope one day you can experience this type of feeling as well.

One day,
xoxo